I'm moving away from metal, and that scares me. It scares me a lot. Metal meant everything to me for several years now, and now, to watch myself scroll through the piles upon piles of metal on my ipod and settle on Bob Dylan or the Talking Heads or Ladytron I can't help but feel a pang of regret for not picking Aborym or Death or Sarcofago. What makes someone change musical tastes? Is it their environment? Their social surroundings? Their mood? I think all three of these things contribute to why I listened to so little metal this summer. I was in Israel, surrounded by completely different friends, and free of all the stress of school and home life. I'm sure that affected the music I wanted to listen to, but for a month and a half to be completely devoid of the sort of mood which prerequisites the listening of metal - whatever mood that may be.
I can say this- one of the friends I met on this trip told me that he was still in the indie closet, and I told him that I guessed I was too except that I had my hand on the doorknob and was beginning to turn it. I suppose since indie and metal are two sides of the same coin (underground [in theory at least], individualistic [in theory at least] and driven by the doctrine of ars gratia artis [in theory at least]) I can understand why in a situation such as a pilgrimage to the Holy Land would necessitate a less angry, blasphemous style of music that maintains an ideological connection to a previous interest.
I just don't believe that those three factors are the only that influence a persons change in musical inclination. Musical taste is buried so deep in the heart of people's emotions that simple outside factors cannot reverse them. I have started listening to metal again since I came back home (Nachtmystium's new album SLAYS, by the way), and I am no longer worried that I have moved away from metal permanently. I just don't know why all of a sudden I want different music.
Epiphanies suck.
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